“By sticking it out through tough times, people emerge from adversity with a stronger sense of efficacy.”

— Albert Bandura

The belief that there can be benefits to being bullied is controversial.  So much so that when I tried to register the name bullying benefits across the various platforms, I needed to prove that I was not a troll or a robot.  Not unlike the algorithms that flagged my registration requests, those of us who have been on the receiving end of trauma, can be the most susceptible to viewing our past as insurmountable; as a series of negative experiences that have no positive aspects at all or that they define who we are. 

I don’t believe that to be the case. 

A little about myself and what you can expect from this blog:

I am a trauma survivor.  According to the ACE test created by the federal government, any person who scores 4 or higher on this assessment, experienced extreme levels of trauma — before the age of 20 – that strongly correlates to their inability to stay employed full time and an increased likelihood they will become pregnant at an early age (which means likely to continue the cycle of dysfunction into the next generations).  My score on the ACE test is a 6. 

I have graduated university, I work, I don’t have children and have never been pregnant.

I will be the first to admit that I took for granted my ability to overcome life’s obstacles.  I just thought it was something that I had to do.  No one was going to come and save me so I had to save myself.  The more people I meet, I realize that my architecting my own healing is not common at all.  I began meeting so many people – those slightly younger than me but most 10-20+ years older than me – struggling to overcome feelings of inadequacy, peer pressure and low self-esteem; Issues that I hadn’t dealt with in over 10 years.  I realized that I needed to take my philosophy and share it: there are benefits to experiencing AND overcoming trauma that we should embrace and find confidence in.

In this blog I will cover my philosophies on life, how to shift the negatives we experience to our advantage, regain (or establish) control of our lives and mind.

When it comes to supporting and rebuilding a fractured spirit, I believe it is deliberate self-nurture vs. nature that dictates our ability to heal.  If you are over the age of 18, you have the absolute last say on how you will experience life from this point forward.

Thank you for visiting.  Please follow this blog, ask questions and leave comments.  I look forward to sharing and learning from those who engage.

—Heather